Therapy helps us to see with clearer eyes the ingrained patterns that hold us back.  Step by step, therapy helps us to override these patterns and get more  of what we seek in relationships.

How Do We Get Stuck in These Patterns?

The guilt, anger or hopelessness we can feel in the present may grow out of patterns we established long ago in our first relationships — with parents or other caregivers.   When we are very young even the best-intentioned parents can leave us feeling vulnerable or shamed.  To feel safe, we start to find ways that reduce our distress even when these ways of behaving  impede our growth.  These patterns sink into the background.  They become nearly invisible to us.  Once we become adults, these patterns still shape the way we connect with others. Even when we do recognize these patterns, they may feel unavoidable.

Will Therapy Change Who I Am?

Old patterns rarely go away entirely. Instead we learn how to connect with our past without feeling governed by it. We feel more freedom and energy to relate to the most important people in our lives with grace and self-confidence